We have been seeing a lot of cost cutting on the low cost airlines including paid meals and drinking water... some of the areas being considered to enhance profitability in wake of spiraling jet fuel costs....cheers!
Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, Sir.. May I see your ticket?
P***enger: Sure.
Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, please!
P***enger: What for?
Attendant: For telling you where to sit.
P***enger: But I already knew where to sit.

Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat-locator fee of $5. It's the airline's new policy.
P***enger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it.
Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not?
P***enger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this.
Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you?
P***enger: That would be swell, thanks.

Attendant: No problem (grunts). Up we go, and done! That will be $10, please.
P***enger: What?
Attendant: The airline now charges a $10 carry-on ***istance fee.
P***enger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it.
Attendant: Actually, you're right - you can't stand. You need to sit, and fasten your seat belt. We're about to push back from the gate. But first I need that $10.
P***enger: No way.
Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I will be forced to call the air marshal. And you really don't want me to do that.
P***enger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me?
Attendant: No, but there's a $50 air-marshal hailing fee.
P***enger: Oh, all right, here - take the $10. I can't believe this.
Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?
P***enger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it?
Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert two quarters into the overhead coin slot for the first five minutes.
P***enger: The airline is charging me for cabin air?
Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge. It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents.
P***enger: I don't have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar?
Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go!
P***enger: But you've given me only three quarters for my dollar.
Attendant: Yes, there's a change-making fee of 25 cents.
P***enger: For crying' out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter?
Whatever will I do with it?
Attendant: Hang on to it. You'll need it later for the lavatory.

Happy travelling'.