1. At the movies:When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .

Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here...


2. In the bus:A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...

Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't you try again.


3. At a funeral:One of the teary-eyed people ask...

Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?


4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter

Stupid Question:-Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" good??
Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.


5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years

Stupid Question:-Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.


6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...

Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:- No,he's a miserable wife-beating ,insensitive lout...it's just the money.


7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...

Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not.
You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron.


8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...

Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding.... ..


9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...

Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed.


10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your office asks.. .

Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:- Gosh, it's a miracle ...........it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!