Customer : Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Helpdesk : Have you tried pushing the button ?
Customer : Yes, but it's really stuck.
Helpdesk : That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ...
Customer : No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry .

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Helpdesk : Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer : Your left or my left ?

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Helpdesk : Good day. How may I help you ?
customer : Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk : Would you click on start for me and ...
customer : Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me ! I'm not Bill Gates damn it !

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Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

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Customer : I have problems printing in red...
Helpdesk : Do you have a colour printer ?
Customer : No.

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Helpdesk : What's on your monitor now ma'am ?
Customer : A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

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Helpdesk : And now hit F8.
Customer : It's not working.
Helpdesk : What did you do, exactly ?
Customer : I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening.

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Customer : My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk : Are you sure it's plugged into the computer ?
Customer : No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk : Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer : OK
Helpdesk : Did the keyboard come with you ?
Customer : Yes
Helpdesk : That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard ?
Customer : Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work !

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Helpdesk : Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer : Is that 7 in capital letters?

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A customer couldn't get on the internet.
Helpdesk : Are you sure you used the right password ?
Customer : Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk : Can you tell me what the password was ?
Customer : Five stars.

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Helpdesk : What antivirus program do you use ?
Customer : Netscape.
Helpdesk : That's not an antivirus program.
Customer : Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

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Customer : I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears !

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Helpdesk : Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you ?
Customer : Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me ?
Helpdesk : Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem ?
Customer : I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me ?

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Helpdesk : How may I help you ?
Customer : I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk : OK, and, what seems to be the problem ?
Customer : Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it ?