AUDI: Accelerates Under Downward Influence

BMW: Big Money Works

CHEVROLET: Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time

DODGE: Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere

FIAT: Fix It All the Time

FORD: Fast Only Rolling Downhill | FORD: Fix Or Repair Daily

GMC: Garage Man's Companion

HONDA: Had One, Never Did Again

HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing is Drivable and Inexpensive

SAAB: Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown

TOYOTA: Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

VOLVO: Very Odd-Looking Vehicular Object

PONTIAC - Poor Old ****** Think's Its A Caddilac

ACURA -Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile

AMC -Another Major Catastrophe

AUDI -Accelerates Under Demonic Influence

BMW -Break My Windshield

BUICK -Big Ugly Import Car Killer

CHEVROLET -Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time

DODGE -Dead On Day Guarantee Expires

FIAT -Fix It Again Tony

FORD -First On Recall Day

FORD -Fix Or Repair Daily

GEO -Good Engineering Overlooked

G. M. -General Maintenance

G. M. -Goshdarn Mess

GMC -Gets Mechanics Crazy

HONDA -Had One, Never Do-that Again

HONDA -Hang On, Not Done Accelerating

HYUNDAI -How Your Usual Nerd Drives An Import

IROC -I Reek Of Cologne

JEEP -Junk Engineering Executed Poorly

LTD -Last Try from Detroit

MAZDA -My! Another Zany Detroit Assassin!

MERCEDES -Most Eccentric Rich Capitalists Enjoy Driving Expensive Sedans

M.G. -Money Guzzler

MITSUBISHI -Mostly In The Shop Undergoing Big Investments, Sometimes Halfway Incomplete

MOPAR -Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously

MUSTANG -Men Usually Stand Together And Never Go

NISSAN -Nine Idiots Standing, Saying Absolutely Nothing

OLDSMOBILE -Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Every day.

PINTO -Put In Nickel To Operate

PONTIAC -Poor Old Nitwit Thinks Itís A Cadillac

PORSCHE -Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything

SAAB -Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.

TOYOTA -Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

VOLVO -Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

VW -Virtually Worthless